We all know toxic people or at least used to know them before getting them out of our lives. It’s one thing to be friends or acquaintances but quite another forced into regular work contact. Luckily, we have tricks to empower us and every very problem is an opportunity to develop our skills.
What is a ‘toxic’ person?
Humans who reach into their personal artillery and pull out second-guessing, nastiness or childish mind games leaving you drained and unsure of yourself.
Toxic people love blame. It makes them feel better about themselves, it has little to do with you so recognize that. We are responsible for our own feelings and behaviors. Own your mistakes and distance yourself from hectic issues with minimal fuss. People will trust your opinions and respect your work so don’t justify. Trust is a long-term proposition, if transparent in all dealings you have nothing to hide.
Personal boundaries are your fences and toxic people will push them. Trust your gut instinct with unreasonable requests. Clarify your job description and keep your emails (paper trails), should you ever require them. Not everyone have the privilege of leaving a job if unhappy but teaching others how you want to be treated is important. Work out what your boundary issues are. Answering calls or text requests outside work hours, improving terms and conditions regarding payments or work conditions or simply how you’d like to be spoken to. If you work solo you can source scripts for dealing with difficult people to downloadable contracts for absolutely every work issue.
It’s a cheap and easy tool but surprising with its reach. We are ALL just finding our way, so when recognising lack of emotional intelligence in manipulation, criticism or denial it’s easier to send the toxic person kind thoughts. Emotional separation restores self-confidence and know that operating from the ego is sad and actually nothing to do with you. Deep breaths in the loo is time well-spent.
Humans think we are the cause of people’s moodiness but that’s egotistical and incorrect. We don’t know what ‘goes on at home’ for toxic people. They might care for a terminally ill mother or experience domestic violence. Some people are moodier in the mornings or get ‘angry’. Don’t gauge your work by someone else’s moods.
You can’t control the thoughts and actions of others. If you believe you’re doing a great job, you don’t need approval. Toxic behaviour is that person’s unresolved issues. Keep your dignity. Meditation is available anytime. Seek professional help if the toxic behaviour is getting the better of your self-worth.
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Thankyou. YMag Team.