To Think I Could Be An Independent Woman, Was Delusional, by Jonita Dsouza

But that was delusional. I then wanted to break free
from the narrow minded Indian society which has a plan for every woman –
educate, get a job, marry and make kids, all by the age of 30.
Jonita Dsouza

jonite-desouza

Growing up in a small tropical island in India, life was simple and as a teenager I felt restrictive. I come from a privilege family where my parents always emphasised on my education as they wanted me to become a doctor or an engineer. They taught me to live a disciplined life and I always wanted to be free. I left the islands at the age of 17 to pursue higher education, became an engineer and at the age of 22 I thought I had finally become an independent woman!

But that was delusional.

I then wanted to break free from the narrow-minded Indian society which has a plan for every woman – educate, get a job, marry and make kids, all by the age of 30. I wasn’t ready for that. Fortunately, I got a chance to move to London to get an MBA degree. I was excited that I would finally be free and independent. I got a good job, made some good friends and fell in love with a handsome European guy.

Soon I was getting super drained in my job, my relationship was not interesting anymore and friends became boring. I was tired of it of ‘ALL’! I also realised that especially in the west, women were under constant pressure and competition to look good to seek attention, for money, success, etc. and that drained me too. Something was wrong! But I couldn’t figure out what!

The sudden loss of my dear dad added to it! I began to fall sick – did plenty of blood tests but doctors found no answers! I found my body covered with eczema. I no longer felt beautiful. I wanted to run away but didn’t know where! I began to feel like I was living a fake life and my life went downhill in depression. One day I came across an advert on Facebook about a workshop called – Essence.

I decided to go there!

I had nothing to lose anyways. That one act of faith changed my world. The words of the workshop leader captivated me – One of the most powerful teachings is to show a person their essence. Once you know your essence it explains many of your mysterious actions and desires.

 I began to realise that our life isn’t about our story, but how we express our story in this world. Many of us lose our essence by letting the story take over. This is the classic trap where our job becomes more important than

Many of us lose our essence by letting the story take over. This is the classic trap where our job becomes more important than living, where a relationship overshadows your own needs, where expectations rule our emotions and you can’t pace life to your own style.

With working with the spiritual practices around essence I began to see how life was flowing around me. It became clearer Y people do what they do. I felt connected to the world in a deeper manner.

Humanity is waking up, especially women.

A shift in consciousness is happening. Women are longing to be more feminine, because being feminine, is our innate essence. Operating in the masculine world has drained us women of our core essence, making us tired, listless, and depressed.

When I discovered my essence, I realised, that my sacred purpose is to spread this work to the women around which is why I founded the company Exploring Femininity, where now I teach women how to reconnect with their femininity and live a life of energy, fulfilment and pleasure every day without burnt out.

Losing my essence was part of unfolding my Y in this world and I am ever so grateful for that.

 

COMMENT: If this story has impacted you in any way, we would love you to leave a comment below. It only takes a second, but leaves a lasting impact on us.
Thankyou.. YMag Team

Shar Moore

CEO/Founder YMag

Shar Moore is an International Award Winning Mentor, Keynote Speaker, Author, Mum and Nani. Her work with women globally, has led her to publish YMag, encouraging people to be the best version of themselves, by living their Y.

No Comments Yet

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.