How To STOP Letting The Fear Of Criticism Take Hold – Jenny de Lacy
Whether it’s real or imagined, fear can be a real show stopper!
When it comes to using videos in your business marketing, it can be scary. The scenarios of what can go ‘wrong’ play havoc with our imagination. We might make a dick of ourselves, we might say or do something wrong, we might accidentally share our undies on the clothes airer…
And actually the imagined outcomes are so powerful it makes us do crazy things like come up with whole stories that might eventuate and give them loads of time and energy and life. So much so that we are capable of convincing ourselves it’s better NOT to go ahead and share our awesome business expertise on video AT ALL!
Well I, for one, am sick of seeing amazing business women let fear be the decision maker in their business! It’s just a feeling, and we can do something about it! Are you ready?
Here are my favourite ‘go to’ strategies for managing fear.
No amount of reading, journaling, moon ceremonies or crystals will make you better at ‘the thing’
This might make me unpopular, but unless you actually DO the thing, in this case create a video, go live, record yourself to practice using your phone, you won’t feel much less fearful.
Action Cures Fear
Let me amend that slightly – action builds confidence as you will always feel fear. We can’t get rid of it, but we can learn to live with it and grow our confidence at the same time.
I want to share a great example.
A client I was creating videos with was constantly worried about what her ex- had to say about her business. About her. And he does because he’s an arsehat. So she said the fearful thought out loud to herself.
What if he sees this video and hears me talking about making a profit in my business?
Then she realised that she has every right to make a profit, and this has nothing to do with him. That he has no power over her and how she chooses to run her business. Then she took a breath and moved onto be awesome.
That same day she landed an exclusive supplier contract. She was feeling confident and happy when she left the office that day – what if she had given into that fear of criticism – she may have in the past and not left the house because she felt so hideous. And missed out on a contract she dearly wanted.
Worst Case Scenario
What’s the worst thing that could happen? What is you don’t like it? You stumbled over words, you felt awkward, you didn’t like the light or the camera angle? Delete it, Even if it’s a Facebook live you can still delete it.
Marie Forleo suggests writing out all the potential criticism you think you’re going to get. Any comment you imagine you might get that you would find hurtful. Her theory is that once you get it all out in the open, on paper or on an online note pad, that is stops being as hurtful
Who do you want to be?
Write down or journal the person you want to be on video – I am a confident marketing consultant who creates award-winning advertising campaigns for my clients. This confidence is catching – if you act like you are the you will be.
Who are the people in your life?
This is an awesome way to look at it too
I call them cheerleaders (we all have them, the people we turn to for support, to vent, to share or brainstorm ideas. the ones who share out content and leave comments when we ask them to)
Haters – dickheads who gain some weird enjoyment from saying things online without any substance and with nothing more than a keyboard and a bad attitude – IGNORE.
INfluencers/gurus – these are the peeps who know the field you are creative stuff in, If they have an opinion (such as a client) then you need to listen to it. You are always going to get that sort of feedback as it’s part of the job. So expect it, breath deeply and it’s almost never as bad as we anticipate
Frenimies – ah now these are the people we worry about the most – the shitty opinion we didn’t ask for, the stuff that’s not even necessarily rated to the content, just a chance to take a potshot. As simple as pointing out a typo on a Facebook post (my absolute pet hate, the comment not the typo) to full-blown unhelpful comments.
How is the fear of criticism holding you back? How can you face that fear head on?
I think back to the coaches I have had in the past, in sport and business, and I remember that I can use my confidence to bust through that thought process.